National Women Day - Inspirational women

It was Malaysia's National Women Day on the 25th of August.
It is a day to remember the important women in your life or in the country, and also to be inspired by them.
It is also to celebrate for women; and for what we have done =)

I would like to highlight four women whom I admire and look up to here in Malaysia; four women who deserved the compliments and to be called role models for all the young and aspiring women out there.

They are personally my inspirations, being these powerful and confident women who represent Malaysia.

Who other than someone my age; Datuk Nicol David

Need I say more, she's made it to the international records for squash and consistently on top.
At the same time, I am impressed that with that much traveling and tournaments/trainings, she could still do well academically! =)

Tun Dr Siti Hasmah

Our First Lady for the longest time, she did not only depend on her husband to make a reputation for herself.
She was a doctor herself, and she had made significant contributions to the society, and up close, she was just an amazing warm-hearted person.
Academically, she is also the chancellor for the country's advanced Multimedia University.

Of course, and also her daughter, Marina Mahathir

She's really witty, and I loved her articles and thoughts; her courageous attempts at addressing social issues and how she distinguished herself, establishing her whole own identity with her given skills.

Finally, Datuk Michelle Yeoh

Our very own Bond girl, who has worked hard and made it to Hollywood and international fame.
Way to go!

Cheers to all the women in the world, may we all be inspired to be as strong and powerful as them, if not better.

Happy National Women's Day, and continue to cherish womanhood like everyday is Women's Day! ~~

MARRIAGE

Just read one of the most amazing stories on the above topic and really wanted to share it here; it is really heart-warming and inspiring...

The whole story is quoted as below; as this is not my own written text, but a beautiful piece written by the author below.
I think this is a really good one to share, as it truly teaches us about the pillars of a marriage.

Hope you enjoy it =)

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Temporarily BACK~

I have just renovated the blog; by giving it more of a facelift and major color refreshment =D

Anyway, it is available temporarily with major links to my new girly blog.
This blog will be maintained as one with major heart-to-heart talk on women-related social issues and also more mature topics compared to my girly blog which is all about anything that is cute and well, GIRLY.

Thanks for the patience and support, and thanks for all the feedbacks, if there is anything you would like to see on this blog, just send me an email or drop me a message here, and I will try to work it out =) (As long as it is within my means or approval on the appropriate topics, LOL! ;)

Again, thanks, and here's to all the EVEs in the world!

Blog Maintenance

It has been a while and I thank everyone for your support for this blog.

I am planning to revamp the blog a little and to give it a fresh concept and as such, there will no posting on this blog until further announcement.

Feel free to check out my other blog; Get Girly with Christy for girly stuffs and to get updates on the progress of this blog.

Thanks and I look forward to a brand new look for this blog very soon!
Stay tune!

Vanity UN-masked!

Have you ever come across people who are actually vain and obsessed with their own looks and appearance and yet are too coward to admit it to others?
In fact, they even go to the extent of telling and showing you that they do not really care about the way they look or dress and that they are simple and practical girls.

Well, don't be deceived by these people as I have been by a few; one of them being a friend of mine whom I cannot reveal much (pseudonym used here)

Marie* was about the same age as me and the first time we met, she was this plump lady without make-up nor was well-sustained in terms of her apperance.
She wears loose shirts (some faded from long wear) and just jeans which were quite tight.
The funniest part was when she met me and told others that she thinks I was a lot thinner than her.

Then as we made our acquaintance, she started telling me about how she does not put on make up which she does have but do not use, and she does not put much attention or detail to the clothes she wear when she walks out of her house.
I guess the point was pretty proven as her outfits were nothing spectacular nor trendy, to say the very least and were just as plain as Jane's, if I may say so.
She also confessed that she takes less than half an hour to prepare to go out as she will just put on one outfit which is practical and comfortable and she is ready to go.

She even tells me that she loves eating and can never go on diets; unlike some of those superficial girls out there who were making castles in the air, dreaming of the day they could be supermodels like Kate Moss or Cindy Crawford. Point noted, as I could see she does loves eating and her appearance does fit the bill.

After a while of knowing her, it then started sometime towards the end of last year where she suddenly cut down on her food intake.
She was suddenly on this particular fibre drink which she introduced to her other friends and claimed that it helped to make her feel full and purge whenever she takes oily foods. She believed that it was truly beneficial as it will help to control her diet and nutrition intake.

Then she was slowly losing weight and even start telling people how she needs to put on a belt to her used-to-be-tight jeans.
Oh, it was obvious as even I noticed that she was certainly losing weight.

She even eats very little when we were out together and I noticed how she kept an eye on the amount of food I take and tried to get out of me, what I eat or don't eat.
It was funny how a person who claimed to not worry about her weight and appearance could all of a sudden, become so conscious of herself!

If that is not dramatic enough, she has even started to take an interest in clothes and has even mentioned that she wanted to go shopping.
(She used to say that she prefers buying kitchen appliances or wares compared to vanity shopping)
She has added color and variety to her attire, and she has even started to wear her hair long, like how I used to!

She is definitely on the watch on her diet, and sometimes it freaks me out to imagine whether she is another of those Single White Female.

I just cannot imagine why girls like these are unable to just be public about how they enjoy being vain as well.
So what if you are conscious about your weight and appearance?

Every girl is the same, it does not make you look out of the way when you admit this.

I just dislike how one has to masquerade their true interests and pretend to be another in front of others to make themselves look outstanding.

I believed she did not want to be seen as too girly or materialistic, but deep down inside, isn't she just the same?
It may not be good to be materialistic and vain girls prancing around with mirrors or compacts at all times and seen in the best-looking clothes, but at least these ladies were not ashamed to show it to the world.

Some even openly admit to people, "Yeah, I am on a strict diet, so what?"

Yeah, so what?
At least they have the guts to do that; unlike some who made them appear to be such brave people but are actually cowards and also pretentious people who just whines to be the same as others but are too chicken to face it.

I say, get a life and live it on your own!

The Path to Singledom

We often hear of marriages, relationships with happy endings, but flipping to the other side of the coin, there are those which do not end with the desired fairytale ending.

I have friends who have broken up with their boyfriends or almost-fiances and struggling to return to their original path of singledom.

It is hard, I know, when you have been together for so long with a person whom you may already viewed him more than a boyfriend but rather, a lifetime soulmate only to realize that it was just an illusion when the mirror just broke before your very eyes and your dream of a perfect ending has gone down the drain.

Jane, 29, broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years when they started to discuss about marriage.
They were planning to get married earlier but when they sat down to work out the details, arguments pursued and she realized that he was not the man she thought she knew. In fact, his true colors turned out to be so ugly that she announced that she wanted to end the relationship immediately even though it was a very difficult decision, and the memories of such a long relationship will plague her mind.
She cried herself to sleep every night, but she knew it was the right thing to do, and she told herself and us, her friends, that it was better to know about his true character rather than find out when they are already married with children.
It took her a while to get over him, and of course, she is now better and she enjoys her freedom so much and has regained her own identity, compared to when she was in a relationship where her boyfriend nagged her about managing her finances and her lifestyle.
Sure enough, she is a happier person today but she does admit that she still feels the pinch in her heart when she hears about engagements, marriages, etc.

Linda, 29, was also heading towards the aisle when she broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years. It was a mysterious affair as none of her friends knew about it, only that she transformed from her former self to a more adventurous and partying girl. It surprised all the friends when she even performed a double eye lid operation which gave a dramatic change in her appearance. She has also started talking about how it was better to remain single compared to being in a relationship; which passed off as hints to all her friends of her break up.

May, 24, was happily in a relationship with a rich and charming young man whom she adored and grooved about in her Facebook and blogs, professing her undying love for him almost every other day. She was really happy and proud of him and was looking forward to a long relationship after her past 3-4 relationships. They were together for more than 3 years; which set the record after her past relationships and they have gone traveling together and appeared inseparable in front of all their friends.
Six months ago, they broke up, and it was a discreet affair as the duo just untagged themselves from each other's relationship status and stopped all the swooning and messages on Facebook and blogs and that was how people started to find out about them breaking up. May acted normal in front of everyone, but she has started with all her status messages on Facebook and blogs on how it was much better to be single, and how it is always tough to make decisions.

Carrie, 35, then 28, ended her marriage with her husband when she found out about his affair with another woman. It was a devastating decision from her side at that time as she had two children to tend to and she was still in the days where it was all about fun and enjoying life to the fullest. She had to fend for herself, and also her young children, aged 6 and 3. She still chose to end the marriage and moved back to stay with her own mother and family, and found different odd jobs to support herself and her children. It was really a tumultous road at that time as she was not a highly educated person and only had her Form 3 certification and also no prior working experience (her ex-husband was a rich businessman who financed all her luxurious spendings) and she was discriminated against by most of the people around her. She gritted her teeth and moved on, and despite the conservative talks and stares behind her back, she ignored them and stood tall, for the sake of her children.

All these are just simple examples of marriage and relationship failures; and the not-so-successful stories.
It is never easy to deal with the reality; especially when your partner turned out to be someone you never imagined, as in Jane's case, or your partner cheated on you, as in Carrie's case.

Sometimes, you may not even know what happened, but it just ended, like Linda and May's case.

However, what is most important on the way back to singledom is how each and every one of us cope with the reality.

For instance, take Jane and Carrie for example, they chose to face it with courage and not shy away from friends and relatives. They have decided to make that decision and they will stick to their decision, at all costs.
They are scared and yet they were ready to face the criticsms and perceptions by the public and even their own relatives, because they believed in their own decision which was right. At the same time, they do not want to indulge or invest in a relationship which they knew was going nowhere since they could no longer trust that particular person whom they called a partner.

No one is perfect, as we have all learnt, in one way or another and it does not take a moment to wipe off a long trail of lovely memories we used to share with a special someone.

However, when things come to an end and we are back to being alone, we have to learn to get a grip on ourselves and tell us that we deserve better.
It is always easier said than done but the first step must be made somehow, no matter how much effort it takes.

In this crazy world, wounds need to heal and life needs to go on.
We don't own our lives to only that particular person whom we thought the world of, as look around us, there are others who thought the world of us as well.

Before that person made an appearance in our life, who were our world?
Think of your loved ones, and you will find it motivates you to live, for them =)

Old-fashioned as it may be, sometimes, time really does the trick so, just let time and nature takes it course and in the meantime, take pride that you have made a wise decision and that you will be a strong person in no time.

We all have it in us, a hero who lives within, we only need to unleash the hero =)

When a Man Loves (Not) a Woman

It is funny how big of a difference a man can behave towards a woman when they fall in love and OUT of love with her.

It is just a whole deja-vu experience when you look at how fast they change their attitude towards you when they have moved on and realized that you could never have them in your heart.

I find it all too bizarre and at the same time, an interesting thing to learn. I am not sure whether it works for all men or just a small test sample of men that I have seen, heard or encountered?
No, to give credit to my admirers, most of them are not like that because we all end up as good friends and are still keeping in touch until these day (excluding that one bad stalker guy)

When a Man Loves you or falls for you,
1. He will want to see you everytime; and look forward to meeting you at all those big group gatherings so that they can have a chance to talk to you

2. He will take time to drop you a text message on IM or your cell phone and is especially excited when he sees you online or when you send them a text message first.
He will not waste time in immediately inviting you for a quick chat

3. He will send you emails and will reply your emails even when yours is long and wordy like you are writing a thesis on English literature

4. He will ask you out, relentlessly, and try to find out your availability on weekends or even weekdays to have some alone time with you. (Using excuses such as movies, lunch/dinner, hiking, exercise, etc)

5. He will be anxious when they hear you are sick and sends you text messages to cheer you up and telling you to take care and get well soon.

6. He offer to drive you home when you did not drive on that particular day or they can even pick you up from your home anytime and claims that the distance is negligible although there are probably a few hills to get through before they reach you

7. He remembers everything you say that you like/dislike, what are your favorite food, and what is your favorite pastime.

8. He agrees immediately to any activity if they know you are going to be there.

9. He will always back you up in unjust situations, and speak up for you whenever they feel you are being unfairly judged

10. He is interested in everything you say, no matter how boring your life is.



When a Man starts to fall OUT of love,
1. He pretends that he cannot see you even when you are there at a function or gathering, and just walks away from you

2. He replies your text messages in a curt and business-like manner, and even if it slips his mind, he just ends your text conversation abruptly or chooses not to reply your text or call at all.

3. He replies your email with a short, "Noted, thanks"

4. He will avoid all activities with you in it, with excuses that he is away or engaged with something else.

5. He does not even know when you are sick or pretends that he does not know about your sickness at all.

6. He will leave early with some excuses so that he will not be alone with you under any circumstance

7. He still remembers what you like/dislike but it does not matter to him at all, and he tries to show you that he has forgotten about it, or does not even care about it

8. He is busy everytime there is an activity with you in it

9. He says nothing for you anymore, and does not even make any eye contact with you at all, avoiding you at all costs

10. He loses his interest in everything about you and all that you have to say about yourself

When a Man falls OUT of love with you, he really does not care about you anymore.
It is sweet when they are truly and fully in love with you, but when they totally lost that passion and love, you are not just no longer in his heart and mind, but you are not even in his eyes anymore.

They can make your heart warm when they fall for you, but they can also break or crush your heart to pieces

They can make you smile so sweetly, but they can also make you cry so bitterly

That is all it takes; when a man changes from loving you to loving you not...