How far would you go in love?
If there is a choice, would you date your best friend's ex?
Now, exploring this from a girl's perspective, I need to do a little research and find out from some of the girls around
Approaching the issue alone, of course, being girls, some would first question the depth of the friendship
Of course, since I have mentioned best friends, the first question is answered
Best friends, are no doubt, CLOSE and really mean a lot to each other.
Being best friends means you are able to TRUST and to see through each other
So, when your best friend broke up with her boyfriend who now becomes her ex, will you ever consider dating him?
Let's look at it from the following different scenarios:
1. You've known him first and you have been having a crush on him ever since. He somehow goes after your best friend first and you were crushed, but your feelings still remain for him and yet you have always been careful to tread on the relationship and have been happy for the two of them.
Now that they have broken up, he seems to have taken an interest in you, will you consider him as a romantic potential now?
2. You knew him through hanging out with the couple; as introduced by your best friend.
You have always found him charming and funny; but never thought of him that way until they broke up. You were unsure whether you can still be friends with the guy who broke up with your best friend; although they broke up on a mutual agreement and they both think it's for the best.
Do you see him as a potential?
3. You have been close to him because of your best friend. Over the time, he treats you like his buddy, and he just confides in you when he faces problems with your best friend; just like how your best friend does. He asks you for advice and solutions to work things out with your best friend.
Your close friendship suddenly dawns upon him after they broke up and he approaches you after 6 months following the breakup to rekindle your friendship.
He asks you to be a friend and yet continuously asking you out on dates and tells you how comfortable he is with you.
Will you see him in a new light now?
4. You, him and your best friend were buddies ever since high school and all three of you were very close. He pursued your best friend first, and you remained their confidante (similar to Situation 3)
When things didn't turn out and they find they are not compatible, they went back to being friends and you guys were threesome again. Then he asks you out, and what will you do?
These are the 4 common scenarios, give it a thought and share with me your opinion.
At the same time, I will do a quick little research/survey with some girls and see what we get back on
Stay tune for the answers/ stories from the girls....and let's hear it from all the Eve(s)!
2 comments:
Number 3 happened to me. Only I was the best friend in question. Thing is, my ex... well.. he hurt me pretty bad. And I'm rather over it, but I think that it's just not worth it to be dating him. Cue my 'best friend'. I have been telling her how he treated me, and sometimes she gets indignant. He personally said to me that his quarter of an A for his paper is more important than any promise he makes. What he wants, he will get and that's the end of it.
But suddenly, he likes her, and she thinks she likes him. She calls me and asks me if it's okay. I say it's not worth it, and I wouldn't like it. I start getting upset, and she cries and I think.. maybe I can try and be okay with it. So I tell her... If you were really happy, then I guess eventually I'd be happy for you, but I still wouldn't really like it. She says she has to think about it. Then the clincher.
She says yes to him, and doesn't tell me immediately, because 'she doesn't have any credit'. She waited something like 3 days and I found out on my own, and I just cracked. I didn't sleep that night. All of a sudden, she's in love with him. She claimed I was contradicting myself, because I said it was okay. And then she said that if I dated her ex, she would be really pissed too.
A few weeks pass, and I don't really want to talk to her because I was still really hurt, and she starts chatting with me like everything is wonderful and right in the world. She laughed when I told her I had a dream she said she would break up with him for me, which I really did have that dream. So I asked her if she would do it, if she knew I was really hurt and upset (which she did). And she said no. She wouldn't.
This is the selfsame girl who said to me a thousand guys would never come between us when I told her I was hurt, but it had to be this very specific guy that she just had to have, that her 'best friend of 12 years's feelings didn't count anymore. She herself is unsure whether it will last forever, I know it won't last because he's just like that. His best friend told me so.
I would have done almost anything to ease her pain, but she wouldn't go to any lengths to keep me. Obviously having a boyfriend for a little while is better than having a best friend for life. I worry for her, but now that I know where I stand in her life, I really don't want to put myself on the line for her. She'll just have to learn herself.
Hi KYME, thanks for sharing your story and I'm sure it must have been tough. I praise you for your courage to share this whole story.
I am very impressed with you; you are such a sweet and loving girl who is always thoughtful and considerate of everyone!
You didn't even hate your bestie one bit and you didn't even want to see her unhappy.
From the start until the end, you still hope for the best for her despite her choosing a guy whom she knew broke your heart over you...a friend she had for over 12 years.
I won't pass comments on her; that's being judgemental.
But being the great person you are, I can assure you that you will definitely find someone else so much better in your life as your life-partner and definitely a fantastic bestie who will always be there for you!
Don't worry....you deserve ALL of it!
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